what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
