my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
