Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
