I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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