Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize