hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
