great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
