Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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