I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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