I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
