we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
