i barfeds in our rink
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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