it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
