what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
