If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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