I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
