Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
