I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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