His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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