In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize