you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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