Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize