i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
