Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
