we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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