I don't think brook has ever known best
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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