I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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