So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
