I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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