last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize