I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
