she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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