i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
