Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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