I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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