So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize