why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
