I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
