Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
