she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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