I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize