We're facebook friends in real life
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
