I accidentally burped into my bong.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
