do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
