And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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