I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize