I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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