some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize