I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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