he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
