Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
