And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
