I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
