are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
