so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
