you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
