it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
