My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
