Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize