I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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