fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
