downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
