We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
